DEAR ABBY: I’m a 34-year-old man who’s considerably socially awkward. I wish to begin relationship and hopefully discover that particular somebody. The issue is, I’ve an dependancy. It is to not alcohol or medication, however to on-line video games.
I’ve been gaming since I used to be 18, shortly after I joined the navy, and it has been the vast majority of my social interplay. I’ve averted family and friends and spent hundreds of dollars through the years on this “pastime.” I’ve tried a number of occasions to stop. I succeed for a couple of months, however I all the time return, pondering I can play just a bit bit. I sincerely wish to stop. I do not wish to go on like this, however I do not know the way to break this cycle.
Till I can type this out, I do not assume I ought to grow to be concerned with anybody else. Counseling is out of the query as a result of I must report it to my job, which might jeopardize my future employment. Is there any recommendation about the way to repair this drawback? — LOST IN CYBERSPACE
DEAR LOST: I am glad you may have acknowledged that your gaming has grow to be an issue and wish to do one thing about it. That is step one in fixing it.
Remedy might contain personal counseling and even require inpatient care. Nonetheless, if that’s unworkable, On-Line Avid gamers Nameless (olganon.org) could also be a useful different for you. It’s a 12-step program based mostly on the ideas of AA. Chances are you’ll wish to test it out.
DEAR ABBY: My dad just lately handed away. It was surprising. Many individuals have despatched condolences, which was very considerate. My drawback is, I am an atheist, and plenty of of them have mentioned issues like “He is in a greater place now.”
I do not thoughts the prayers accompanied with the condolences. I consider everybody’s beliefs needs to be revered, and the prayers are heartfelt good needs. I’ve a HUGE drawback, nevertheless, with individuals principally telling me that Dad is healthier off useless than alive. That is preposterous! My father is healthier off right here, laughing along with his household, having fun with life and taking part in along with his grandchildren.
How do I reply to these individuals with out sounding snarky? I’ve been biting my tongue so I will not allow them to understand how a lot it offends me, however I actually assume individuals ought to know that these phrases specifically are simply horrible. — GRIEVING DAUGHTER
DEAR GRIEVING: I am printing your letter as a result of you aren’t the primary grieving member of the family to have shared these sentiments with me. However please perceive that the topic of dying makes many individuals very uncomfortable, and they do not know what the comforting factor to say is. Readers, it is enough to say, “I heard the unhappy information. I am so very sorry in your loss.” (PERIOD.)